What if we can´t lie?
What if we could not lie? That is a question that I have been pondering about for quite a while now. What if we as a human society can´t lie? What if I can´t lie? That question has been bugging me because I am a habitual liar and I know it. I just can´t imagine a world where I lose that ability to lie. I don’t know if that is a good thing to admit or not but it is what it is. It is hard to trust someone now when they just admit that they are a habitual liar, isn’t it?
There are constantly occasions where I just lie instead of telling the truth. Whether it is telling everyone, I am fine even though I am breaking on the inside. Telling someone that I like their outfit even though I totally hate it. Saying that someone can achieve their goals and I believe in them even though I sincerely doubt that they will achieve their goals… ever. Those are all small lies we tell every day. There are also bigger lies that we tell to people we don’t know, people we care about and even ourselves.
However, there are some people out there like me who tell lies just for fun. Sometimes lying to another person and seeing their reaction when they find out the truth is a comical gold mine. Whether we lie to protect ourselves or others, to have a bit of a laugh, or because we don’t know better. We all lie even though we hate to admit it.
Why I lie is because of multiple reasons but one major reason is that I cannot clearly separate truth and lie. Many people would tell me I am a liar even though I thought I told the truth. There is a grey area between a truth and a lie. In my opinion, depending on how you define truth and lie, the perceptions may be different. Is a liar a person who slightly deviates from the truth? Is a liar a person who tells the opposite of the truth? What even is a lie?
A lie is ‘an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker or writer to be untrue with intent to deceive’ (Merriam-Webster). However, I believe that that definition is a bit vague. Does this mean the speaker/writer who believes something is true even though is not, is a liar? The speaker/writer had no intention of deceiving but that speaker/writer deceived anyways, does that mean that they are a liar because others know the truth? Or does that mean they are just a person who does not know better?
My point is that there is a grey area between lie and truth but for the sake of simplicity, I am just going to run with the Merriam-Webster definition where the speaker/writer knows that they are lying.
We all have been told that lying is bad but to what extent? Is lying to protect a person a bad thing as well? I mean lying for selfish gains is bad but lying for a selfless reason is good, right? However, now we also have to decide what is considered good or bad and that is a topic I don’t want to get into. There is a blurry line between good and bad just like how there is one between truth and lie. Getting into that grey area would require me to write a longer article which then no one would want to read so I am not going to do that.
Believe it or not, everyone tells a lie every once in a while whether is to protect another person or for selfish reasons. However, I don’t really want to get into the reasons we lie and how since I found videos that sums it up perfectly, so I suggest you check it out if you want to know why we lie (as in telling a lie, not lie down).
I am fully aware that I can´t possibly predict all the consequences of a lie because there are endless possibilities of what could happen and I just have to face the fact that no one can say for sure what will happen if nobody lies anymore. This is more of a thought experiment than a prediction.
What will happen if we live in an honest society? Not a society that gets along but a society that will tell the truth no matter the consequences. Will we live in a more honest and peaceful world or will the world look just the same or worse? That is the question I want to try and figure out today. Instead of just naming the consequences of constantly telling the truth, I am going to try and tell a story instead. Just day-to-day scenarios.
Of course, the person you are having a conversation with is important because we are actually more likely to tell bigger lies to people we care about because we want to protect them. So what will happen if I told my parents the truth when they ask ‘what are you doing with your life?’
Honestly, in this situation, I am most likely to lie and say exactly what they what to hear because I just can´t bear the look on their faces when I tell them that I have no idea. And I can´t stand how I have to spend the rest of my afternoon talking to my parents about this where they try to share their experiences. Nothing against my parents but I have got other more important things I need to do. There is no guarantee that they will react that way but I believe they will therefore I lie.
However, what if I told them directly that I have no idea. I am just drifting around. Looking for that perfect thing, I would want to do for the rest of my life. Would they be proud that I told the truth? Would the truth even be rewarded in a society where constantly telling the truth is the norm? Would my parents be disappointed in me for not being able to make up my mind? The truth is I don’t know. It is not very likely that I will tell my parents about this and it is also unlikely that they would read this article, so I will never know.
Next scenario. Imagine that you found out that your best friend´s partner cheated on your best friend. Would you tell your best friend? You would probably not tell or lie, wouldn´t you? Maybe you are hoping that your best friend´s partner just caused a misunderstanding and you understood the situation wrong. You are hoping that there is a better explanation for this because your best friend and the partner are so happy together. You don’t ruin that would you? What if you did understand the situation wrong and you told your best friend even though your best friend´s partner never cheated? Could you even tell your best friend if that were even the case?
The question now is ‘is it even a lie when you don’t tell?’ Are you actually intentionally deceiving your best friend by keeping your mouth shut? I would argue that you are. You are deceiving your best friend making them believe that their partner is faithful even though they clearly are not.
Now, what if you told your best friend the truth? Your best friend could cry or could believe that you are lying to break them up (but that is not possible if one would live in a society where one cannot lie). Your best friend could be angry and could break up with the partner. Again, you wouldn’t know unless you tell your best friend.
The lasting consequences of telling the truth is probably more important than the immediate reaction of your best friend because your best friend is emotionally invested which means that the logical part of their brain is not functioning properly. Maybe after the storm has settled your best friends makes up with the partner. Maybe your best friend moves on. Maybe your best friend is down in the dumps. You would never know. No one will really know. It is dependent on the person your best friend is. Whether your best friend is a dreamer or a cynic. It is also dependent on the kind of relationship your best friend and the partner shares. Maybe they have an open relationship. Reaction and consequences are dependent on several more factors.
Now the question would be now, how could the partner cheat if one lives in an honest society where one only can tell the truth? Does not telling a lie directly mean that one is honest? With actions, one can lie as well, so technically your best friend wouldn’t be cheated on in the first place if we all would live in a society with no liars. The partner of your best friend would have honestly said to your best friend that they would cheat. How your best friend reacts is a different story.
Okay, now that we have got parents and partners out of the way, what if you met a random stranger on the street and that person asks you how you are. How would you respond if you have to respond honestly?
Personally, I would have lied to that stranger to get away from them because… stranger danger. However, what if I needed to tell the truth? Let´s assume that the stranger is curious and will ask questions until I told them the whole story. Do I really what to tell a stranger that I am not fine. Then they would want to continue this conversation I want to get out of by asking more questions. Would I really tell a stranger that I, for example, got fired from my job? It is personal and none of their business. Can I even tell a stranger that I can´t go on anymore?
How someone is may not be an important subject but what if I was forced to tell the stranger more than how I am? Again, I have to tell the truth if they ask for it. The stranger could ask about my past job, about the boss who fired me, about my colleagues, about how I feel about these people. Everything.
Let´s assume that the stranger has pure intentions. Do I really want to tell them everything about my life? It seems that I don’t have a choice because I have to tell the truth if they ask for it and walking away is technically not the truth.
The stranger could start to empathize with me or laugh in my face. I don’t know how the stranger will react but the stranger now knows how I am now and so much more. Maybe they would tell my deepest insecurities to the next person they meet because they are forced to tell the truth as well. Maybe the whole world would know about my conversation with that stranger because someone spilt the beans. Maybe nothing will happen. There is telling of all the possibilities that could happen when I tell a stranger how I am. (Maybe I am just being cynical writing this article but honestly, that is my thought process every single day and frankly something I can´t control or switch off.)
There are also so many more scenarios that one can play through in this little mind game of a society where everyone is honest. The scenarios I just mentioned are just a dime in a dozen, barely anything. Other possibilities could have played out but I did not think of it. It is just so infinite and sadly something no one can fully uncover because there is always more. I digress.
While writing this article I kept thinking about a question that kept running in my mind. Does honesty bring us together or further apart? I guess in a roundabout way, it is just a rephrasing of my initial question of what would happen if we can´t lie.
Honestly, there is no telling what could happen if we couldn´t lie because lying became such a common practice for us as a human race. We sometimes barely know it if we lie. Therefore, I think it is hard to think of a world without lies since we literally grew up surrounded by them. That is not necessarily a bad thing. Lying for the right reasons can be good but again blurry line and no time.
All I am saying is that honesty does not necessarily keep us together. Honesty can drive many people away from you especially if you are a cynical pessimist like myself. Some people can´t stand being dishonest but that does not stop them from lying themselves. However, honesty can be good. It just seems that people like other people when they are being honest because it makes them see the other person more like a human instead of this perfect machine.
In conclusion, I do not know what will happen in a world where we lost the ability to lie to others and ourselves because lying has become part of our survival instincts and it seems it is not going away anytime soon. However, from time to time it would not hurt, to be honest especially with yourself and the people you care about because sometimes lying may leave a bigger scar than just telling the truths. The dilemma of this is that being honest can leave a bigger scar than lying. You will never know what you will get when you lie or tell the truth but that is just part of life. Something everyone will go through. It may feel terrible to be lied to and to lie but that is just part of being human.