Indecisiveness

Photo by Javier Allegue Barros (Unsplash) 

Personally, I would describe myself as a person who has a hard time making up her mind. One second, I want something. The next, I go back and rethink my decision and believe I made the wrong one. I will correct myself and doubt my correction. Case in point, I am indecisive.

From my standpoint, that is one of the worst traits a human being can possess. In this fast pace world, when one does not make up their mind fast, the decision may not stick around long enough. Making fast and informed decisions is vital in this world.

As an example of the fast decision making skill failing in my life (this is just the most recent example), just take the apartment hunt I went on. I needed a place of accommodation near the university. Thanks to my indecisiveness, I took too much time to make up my mind on, which shared apartment I want to live in because, in my mind, I considered aspects like flat-mates, proximity to the university, nearby infrastructure and facilities, amenities the apartment would provide, etc… I spend a lot of time reading the descriptions and researching that area.

I need to consider all that because I am a perfectionist who only wants the best. Sounds selfish. I know. When one is a perfectionist, one will certainly also have some self-doubt and fear involved in the decision-making process. One will overthink about the smallest of details.

There is also the aspect of the first time. I have never looked for a flat before, I don’t know what to look out for. Too many decisions can also overload your decision-making process. There is no shortage of stress I put onto myself for finding that one perfect apartment.

When I was done, it was likely that the flat I found ideal was already gone. Because I spent too long researching, the landlords already found a new tenant. I know that landlords always leave their offers on the table waiting for people to throw their hats into the game.

However, how does a tenant know that one is interested in the property if one does not even write an application? Many great options flew by me because I just can´t get myself to write an application. After all, I want to make sure that I am making the right decision.

There is always a terrible feeling in the back of my mind whenever I make a decision. If I had made the right one, if the other option is the better option, if I will regret making that decision or not. All those non-threatening yet intimidating thoughts.

Eventually, I got my act together and wrote a few applications, sent them to the future landlords and awaited their answer. I finally got my act together because I felt even more threatened by the prospect of not having an apartment in the university area.

To a certain extent, it also meant, I was somewhat desperate and worried I will not find anything. After searching for days on end, keeping an eye on each deal and every apartment, I became careless and indifferent. I did not care about everything else as long as if the apartment is in the university city.

That psychological phenomenon actually has a name and it is called decision fatigue. After seeing so many housing options and subconsciously deciding for or against them, my decision-making ability to make more decisions just became exponentially worse. One more reason to choose fast.

After sending out applications, I realized that not every landlord would accept your application and invite you over to tour the property. Some landlords of the apartments I considered good, did not even respond to my application.

Some other landlords did respond and after some waiting, discussions and rearranging, I did manage to arrange some property viewings. The properties I did visit were not bad per se but they did not have everything I needed. I guess the saying is true, you can´t get everything in life.

Then came the other inevitable choice, which property do you want? Which one is better? Which one suits your needs more? All those questions come flooding in with an indirect pressure to make a decision from the landlords. You need to make a choice and make a choice fast because you don’t want the landlord to choose someone else.

You can´t ask a landlord to wait for your decision, you have to respond as soon as possible. The landlord is in other words, a business person, they want the most profitable deals and they want it fast. If you snooze, you lose.

Eventually, I did make a decision, which I ended up regretting soon after without even moving into that apartment. Following the signing of the rental agreement, doubts come flooding in considering all the other options. Not to my surprise, better options came flooding in as well.

Therefore, I always have trouble making decisions. I don’t want to make choices I regret. I don’t want to make the decision now if better options come later. I don’t want to end up hating myself even more for not being able to make an informed and good verdict.

At the same time, as Stephen Hawking famously said, ‘Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.’ Adapting to the new environment and getting used to the flaws is just what we do as humans constantly. Getting used to that wrong decision is what humans do constantly. That is how we thrived as a species. A wrong decision is not necessarily a bad decision. It will just take some adjustments and time to get used to.

Another aspect, I want to point out is every entrepreneur's tips for future entrepreneurs, ‘make mistakes.’ As American theoretical physicist Frank Wilczek once said, ‘If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake.’

As imperfect human beings, we are bound to make mistakes. That includes making bad and or wrong decisions. From those bad/wrong decisions, we can either learn from them and do better next time, adapt to them and stay with the outcome or dwell on them and stay hung up on that mishap forever.

Personally, I would do anything but the third option. Hence, I decided to make the best out of this whole housing university situation. It is not as if I will have to live there for the rest of my life. I can move. It is also not as if I can hate something I never choose entirely. I can end up liking it.

My indecisiveness got me wondering about indecisiveness in general. What is indecisiveness in the first place? Am I the only one who can´t decide on decisions ranging from trivialities to important life choices? Where does indecision come from? Is indecisiveness good or bad?

I am not going to go into the different reasons people are indecisive but I did think about other things when brainstorming about this topic. Is indecisiveness a new 21^st-century problem or has it been around for a long time?

Let´s begin from the very top. What is indecisiveness in the first place? Indecisive just means that a person is not able to make decisions quickly and effectively. And turns out, many people are indecisive as well. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many self-help websites guiding people through this phase.

The third question I was only able to answer with a bit of research since I did not know about this. Turns out that indecision is often a result of strict upbringing. It stems from not being allowed to make decisions and think for yourself. It stems from being criticised for the choices you make. It stems from having strict rules and controlling parents.

Onto the fourth question, is indecisiveness good or bad? Depends on who you ask but many career-focused websites always treat indecisiveness like a blight that needs to be gotten rid of immediately. Technically, they are not wrong. Being able to make a fast and adequate decision in the business world is useful.

The ability to make a quick and proper decision is a sign of a good cognitive brain. Being able to limit options, draw a line between good and bad choices, weigh alternatives, and think on your feet is an efficient trait to possess. We all need that and it saves time. A lot of time.

The fast-paced decision-making may be exhausting but those are also learning experiences that we can learn from. If we make the wrong one, we learn. If we make the right one, our decisiveness grows with each decision we make. We have got nothing to lose.

As my story at the start has also shown, if you can´t make a decision fast, the decision may no longer be yours to make. Due to consistent changes in circumstances, the decision that was once yours may fall out of your grasp. What could make it worse is if the decision of your fate falls into someone else´s hands.

Nevertheless, what about the other side. The not fast-paced business decisions. What about decisions that don’t have a time limit? Life-changing decisions for instance. Decisions that require a lifelong commitment. Is indecisiveness a good thing?

For life-changing decisions, taking time and thinking it through is important. Once you committed, there is no turning back. Spending more time with those decisions is right since you do need to consider each aspect of the consequences and decide for yourself if you can live with them.

Indecisiveness is not necessarily a bad thing since thanks to indecisiveness you spend time pondering, a better deal may come along. A deal that overshadows all previous options. The best choice. There is no guarantee that that could happen but a girl can hope.

The last question I want to tackle is if indecisiveness is a growing trend, which is only becoming more prominent with each new product that hits the store or an age-old problem, which plagued our ancestors as well.

It is hard to deny that our growing consumer market is making the decision easier. Now we have more options than ever. One example? Apple or Samsung. Should I even consider Huawei, Asus and Google? Which model should I get once I have decided on the brand? Of course, we have our preferences and resources, which limit our field of options but no one can deny that we do not have choices.

Thanks to the growing middle class and the growth of wanted specific products, the companies are just meeting the demands with their products. The companies are also trying to keep up with their competition as well.

Has this been a problem in the past? Not necessarily. In the past, there has only been a few big-name brands, which had their products on the store shelves. They did not give the customer many options since there was little to no competition, so the brands don’t need to expand their product selection and let´s face it, the customers were not that selective either thanks to their circumstances.

Take the 1940s for instance. World War 2 was happening, the last thing on people´s minds when grocery shopping is if the store had the gluten-free version of their favourite cereal on the shelves. Back then, people considered themselves lucky if they had something decent to eat considering the food scarcity.

Throughout the world until the 18^th century, people could not even choose whom to marry, since parents or other relatives arranged most marriages back then. Most marry for fortune and power but since that is no longer an important aspect; people nowadays marry for other reasons. Namely, love.

Of course, people in the past had their own decisions that they need to decide on e.g. which suitor the child should marry for the most social and financial gain, which cow is the best for breeding, which strategy is best for survival, etc... Even some life or death decisions.

Today in the 21^st century, we are just faced with more low stakes decisions. Our life is not balanced on a knives edge anymore where a single wrong decision can be the difference between life and death. We have risen above that.

I would even go as far as arguing that the kind of decisions we are facing has changed over the past years. Back then, they did not have the luxury of choosing between chocolate and strawberry. Their decisions had consequences, which were more impactful.

The decisions we are facing today do not have such an impact but we have more decisions. Again, the middle class grew and we are enjoying the luxuries, which our medieval ancestors could not even imagine. Thanks to our capitalistic mindset, we as consumers are presented with an unlimited amount of products.

This gave us more options but too much of a good thing can be a bad thing as well. Now, we have to choose. With decision fatigue and decision overload, we can easily be overwhelmed by all those decisions we have to face every single day.

The options are only growing with each new product that hits the shelf every single day and so is the indecisiveness. This indecisiveness can also apply to other aspects of life for example future partners. In the 21^st century, we are faced with so many options to choose from.

Indecisiveness is not a new thing that just came. It has been an established phenomenon, which has been with the human race ever since their arrival. We are and we're constantly faced with decisions, which inadvertently meant that indecision has always been around.

Nevertheless, the type of indecision just has changed over the past year. Back then, it was a decision between survival and demise for most. (There were always exceptions.) Now, it is just a choice between one luxury and another.