End of 2021

 

Hey

I want to end this year just as I intend when I started this blog… with a pinch of words and a whole lot of sappy nonsense.

Throughout this year, I wrote a lot about the most various of topics. Had many trials and errors. Found more efficient methods for simple practices. But most importantly I had fun. At least most of the time I tried to have fun with the articles I am writing but sometimes the topics I wrote about was just upsetting. I guess it is my fault for choosing off-putting topics, but I wanted to write it anyway since it is important to me and frankly, I don’t believe that I am alone in believing in the importance of some topics.

It is from the second article quite obvious that I can´t stick with one thing or topic since I always found that hard when there is so much to talk about and issues that need to be addressed. Even if I started this blog based on ideas of creativity, it quickly turned into something personal. Issues I wanted to talk about, pictures and drawings I wanted to share, and topics I am personally interested in I wanted to learn about and explain to myself.

Writing, frankly, has never been my strong suit since there are always people who can do a better job and I thought I should just let them do what I can’t do quite as well. However, when I stopped comparing myself to others, I finally realised that people are only good because they put in the effort and time to achieve their artistic perfection. If I should never write because there are people better than me then it would be quite a waste of time and creativity. Instead of letting the fear of imperfection stop me from… something I have not yet discovered, I decided to just go for it. This is when I realized I had more in me than I first thought.

Nearly half a hundred articles and more than one hundred thousand words later, I wrote about the most various of topics and learnt a thing or two on the way. I learnt much more than I could have ever hoped for when I first started this blog since the blog encouraged me to the things I have never thought of trying and evolved in ways I did quite foresee. Thanks to the blog, I finally started to put the novel idea I had in my head for quite some time on paper. Of course, the story went through many rewrites, (and I really do mean many rewrites) and it is going to be kept on rewritten since as I have already established many times on this very blog, I can’t really settle on the final version.

Some other articles on this blog are not quite up to my standard. Sometimes, I have this unrealistic expectation when writing an article and put myself under too much pressure to achieve this non-existent version of an article, that I don’t enjoy writing as much anymore. Nevertheless, that beats the point of writing in the first place, so I ask myself why I do this to myself. The quote-on-quote bad articles are on the blog because I wanted to show myself that I can have the good and the bad so I don’t have to chase perfection which is driving me crazy.

Sometimes, the articles I write just melts my brain since I am trying to understand and explain something to myself my mind is not ready for yet. The articles don’t quite make sense to me so I don’t believe anyone else would understand what I am writing or what my intention was when writing. Some other times, I start with an idea in mind and completely drift off with no specific reason, which leads to a two-part article or I just remember there is more to say than I first planned for. Sometimes, I realize when writing an article that the idea does not work out on paper and that idea just gets thrown onto the pile of topics I cannot quite write about yet with my lack of experience and knowledge. Some other times, I just completely forget that I have a blog since it is not present or relevant in my life. However, at the end of the year, I still kept my uploading schedule and followed through.

This year was an interesting year, to say the least, not only because my social life came back to life but also just how much I have learnt before or because of this blog. I hope that this is something I can continue since as much as I hate publishing articles (since the steps to take are exhausting) I really do enjoy this verbal expression of ideas in my mind, and I also adore the creative thoughts which take my mind off the burdens bringing me down. Sometimes putting ideas down on paper can make something unstructured from the mind seem very plausible or the literal opposite. Just having a platform to express something I don’t normally tell anyone else feels freeing.

As I mentioned in my blog journey article, I can´t say a lot about the future, since it is as unpredictable as ever. However, I do want to write about travel soon. I also intend to share some other unique things I adore and I want to continue explaining to myself that I don’t understand (and yes, the concept of love is still on the list of things I don’t understand along with other topics like morality and immorality.) It is guaranteed that I will continue photography and drawing. Maybe next year I will have the guts to share some designs I made throughout the years. I guess next year´s lineup is just up in the air and I couldn’t be more excited to see where it goes.

Before I continue going on in circles, I hope everyone had a lovely 2021 and will have an exciting 2022. And I guess, until next year.

With lots of love

Aurelia