Covid 19

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich (Pexels)

To a certain extent, I should have known that I would eventually dedicate a whole article to the pandemic sooner or later no matter how much I try to avoid it because everyone is already sick of it by now.

However, I have no intention to write about how the virus impacted my daily life because you probably already know how the virus can impact life. I also have no intention to discuss the different opinions floating around this pandemic.

Instead, I wanted to write a little bit about a teeny tiny incident that happened in my dorm. The reason why I wanted to write about that is because I wanted to get some closure about this cloud hanging over my head and this is, frankly, the only way I know how.

Let´s start where this story began, back in December when my friend who I was staying with got corona. At that time, I could afford to get sick since I was on vacation and there was no work I need to catch up on.

Then in January two of my dormmates got covid but that was not too catastrophic as I thought it would be because no one was writing exams and I could manage a weekend getaway from my dormmates. Besides we manage to completely isolate them since we live on different floors and they had their own kitchen and bathroom, so everything was fine, even though their quarantine did cause some inconveniences for us.

At this point in time, I had a bit too many close encounters with the virus I was planning on not meeting… ever. In January it is the third time I manage to dodge a bullet, once with my brother, my friend and my roommates. Somehow it felt a bit like a witch hunt and that is petrifying.

Anyways, I had a bit much corona for the time being after my dormmates tested negative. However, I cannot help to feel unease not only because the corona infection numbers keep going up and the government lighten regulations. I was also at unease because my roommate was unvaccinated.

To be honest, I could not care less if someone is vaccinated or not. Besides, I am sick and tired of trying to convince someone and change their minds because I realized that that is just a huge waste of time. If someone wants to risk their own life, I won´t and don’t care. However, I would care a lot if someone would put their life and mine on the line, especially when the reason is so frail.

If I can be honest, I did not know the reason why my roommate decided not to get vaccinated because the moment she starts to spill the hypocrisy about the vaccine my mind automatically shuts out all the noise.

All I know is that she had some vaccine doubts and so did her whole family. Frankly, their vaccine hesitancy did not stem from the fact that they are religious since her religious friends are rather fond of the vaccine but they rather doubt the science behind the vaccine, which is understandable.

Everyone has their doubts about something new. As a science major, I support curiosity and the will to seek out more knowledge. However, what I can´t understand is how someone can´t be convinced through proven peer-reviewed facts and reliable statistics. I won´t understand why people are willing to put their and the lives of others at risk because of their stubbornness.

Again, I totally understand anyone´s desire to stand out and be different from the rest of the crowd. Trust me I totally support anyone who defies society's norm and makes life interesting for the rest of us, but I just won´t accept how they are putting everyone at risk to be different.

Frankly, I was not the only one with this opinion because my vaccinated roommate was also a bit cautious when it came to the virus. It would be short-sighted not to take something as serious as a deadly virus sweeping the world and infecting many seriously.

We thought that our dormmates getting the virus would set her straight but turns out we couldn’t be more wrong. When they first got the virus, she denied that they are sick, which (spoiler alert) she can´t do because she is not them. When the PCR test came back positive, she still decided to go to the shared space without a mask and did not disinfect afterwards.

After her carelessness, we decided to take a break from hanging out with her for the time being because that was the logical next step in our mind to prevent catching the virus ourselves. To be honest, I felt bad for shutting her out but after a psychologist visit, I felt better about avoiding her.

The dormmates were negative after a week and we were allowed back into the shared spaces. That little incident didn´t faze her at all and she continued living as if nothing happened. On the one hand, it is great that she is not letting the virus change her daily life too much but on the other, what about the rest of us?

After that incident, we tried to convince her to get vaccinated to protect herself and others but she, without needing a second to think about it, flat out refused. Which I just think is such a weird thing to do for someone who is a nursery counsellor.

My roommate gets to spend the whole day with children who might not contract the virus but can surely pass it on. The children who are not obligated to wear masks. The kindergarten is basically a maskless virus spread fest.

Sure, my roommates need to take a PCR test every now and then but that doesn’t put anyone at ease. Shouldn’t educators set a good example for the next generation to come by getting the vaccine? If she doesn’t want to be a good example, at the very least, she doesn’t have to be the one who infects all the children´s parents.

Since the corona infections number are still on the rise, my roommate and I decided to suspend all dinners and hangouts with my unvaccinated roommate because at this time she was basically a time bomb waiting to blow.

Besides, it was hard to hang out with anyone who is legally not allowed anywhere. No restaurants, no shopping malls and no sports centres. Nothing. How can anyone enjoy themselves being unvaccinated in Germany with all these regulations?

It is also hard for me to be around someone I don’t feel comfortable around. Living with her just turned into a completely avoidable dodge-and-hate party. I could not even stand the idea of sharing the same bathroom and hallway knowing all the risks.

Then came the long-anticipated exam phase. Most stressful weeks of a student’s term. The weeks where all the exams are taking place with little free time in between each one. The advantage of writing multiple exams in a week is that we get through them quicker, but what is the point of getting through the exam phase quick when you fail through every one of the exams on the way there.

The exam cramming started and everything is going well. Everything according to plan. I would spend two weeks studying chemistry, one day for maths and a week for physical chemistry. As you can see, I had little to no spare time for anything else.

Just like that the fuse finally burnt out and the bomb exploded. On top of the exam stress, we had to deal with this ne-er-do-well who we explicitly warned about this kind of situation. That is also the moment all my care for her flew out the window. That care was immediately replaced with hatred and anger. How could she do this, especially in that week?

In her defence, she did not want to get corona and she did try to care a little more than completely not caring at all but sadly that is a pathetically weak defence because the virus doesn’t care who it infects as long as it doesn’t die out.

That is it, a friendship out the window just like that. My respect for her as a nursery counsellor is out the window as well. Now I just avoid her whenever and wherever I can since conversing with someone who causes so much psychological damage is against the advice of my psychologist. Sometimes I wonder if I could sue her for negligence.

That is not even the worst part of it all. Three days before she officially announced that she has been tested positive, she knew that the PCR pool test she took came back positive as well. Instead of sharing that information, she kept quiet about it.

We only found out about the positive PCR pool test because she was bragging about it and how she again manages to not get corona with a positive PCR pool test. She was so nonchalant about that whole situation that just frustrates me so much.

Again, I try my best to stay away from her even though I didn’t know about the positive pool test. The moment, I see her all I want to do is hide in my room or wake up from that nightmare walking because she just caused so much distress in me.

I speculate that she withheld the positive pool test information because she didn’t believe that it was any serious as she would believe. I also believe she withheld that information because we didn’t officially announce that we are not hanging out anymore. Being around her just made things so weird.

Eventually, karma caught up with her when she started coughing a day after she was sent home because of the positive pool test. A day later, she got back her first official positive lateral flow test. A day after that she got back her positive PCR test.

As a dorm, we try our level best to get by this thing, but I just couldn’t because I was emotionally drained and exhausted. That was also the moment where I stopped caring if the virus would take her with the millions it already took.

Logically, we set up ground rules to prevent the spread of the virus because it is the responsible thing to do. Since she was stubborn, I thought that she would not care too much for the house rules we set up but she did, which was the very least she could do.

However, she refused to wear gloves when exiting her room because she believes that gloves are a bit overrated. That is the moment when I decided that I had enough of her and stayed someplace else for the rest of her two weeks, which is so unfair. She got sick, why should I leave?

Since I didn’t live in that dorm anymore, for the time being, I did not care if she wore gloves or not. However, I still couldn't understand her point of view. Gloves prevented the spread of the virus, so I still couldn’t understand why she would not think of them as useful.

Then I realized that she had no leverage, she got the virus, so she has no say in how to prevent it. She is living isolated in her room so she has no say in what happens outside her room. If we should feel most comfortable living with her when she would wear gloves, she should abide by those house rules.

At the end of the day, she survived this incident. Corona did leave her a little goodbye present when it left her system. And it is safe to go back to the dorm which I involuntarily won´t do. After that incident, I just don’t see any way I could trust her and her ways ever again.

It is not even me being dramatic, which I often am, I am being serious. I can´t take her seriously as a person anymore because she can´t take what I care about most seriously. What I care about most is reports and studies since that is basically my future as a scientist. If she can´t respect that, I can respect her.

My psychologist can probably even confirm the emotional distress she caused me. To be fair, I believe this distress thing, won´t blow over anytime soon because I still feel tense whenever she is around.

The only people I feel bad for during this incident are my parents and anyone who had to play psychologist for the day and listen to every thought in my head and every worry bringing me down.