Cynicism
Many times, over the years, have I been accused or complimented of being a cynic and much to the dismay who accused me of such atrocities or pleasantry, I don’t know what a cynic even is. And frankly, I don’t know if I should take it as a compliment or an insult. Today, I want to find out.
Since I don’t know exactly where to start so I start with my favourite way to start, the definition of cynicism. It is “an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest.” Another word for cynicism is scepticism.
Funnily, a school of ancient Greek philosophers, are also known as Cynics. You must understand my confusion because the ancient Greek philosophers did not directly believe that everyone is motivated by pure self-interest.
The school of ancient Greek philosophers believe that virtue is the only good and that its essence lies in self-control and independence. In other words, they lived as one with nature and don’t give a crap about anyone else.
However, I must admit that living like a Cynic back in the ancient Greek days sounds pretty nice. Not caring what society thinks of you. Just living in agreement with nature. Spending the whole day enjoying the sun. Not too bad considering current life stressors.
Since I was confused as to the connection between cynicism and the Greek Cynics, I decided to do some research because the ancient Greeks are somehow always responsible for the meaning of words these days and luckily for me, I found a video.
I just find it funny how words evolve throughout the years since I don’t understand how the Cynics from ancient Greece contributed to the meaning of cynicism now. There is a connection, but I just don’t quite understand it.
Maybe the ancient Greek Cynics and the Cynics now are connected by the fact that Cynics, in general, are just sceptical of the society they live in. Since times changed, the Cynics back then were sceptical of different things than the Cynics now. But I don’t know.
What I do know is that I have been accused or complimented of having cynical traits and I want to find out why. I also want to find out if I should take that remark as an accusation or a compliment. It is just hard to choose given so little information.
If people implicated that I am an ancient Greek Cynic, then they are wrong and have no idea what they are talking about. But if I can be honest, I don’t believe anyone besides philosophers know who the ancient Greek Cynics were.
To be fair, I am the farthest person from what the Greek Cynics represented. They live as one with nature and I live with a roof and I am not independent so that automatically eliminates me from the list of people who are ancient Greek Cynics.
Therefore, people who pointed out that I am a cynic must be dealing with the modern definition of cynicism. After reading the definition for the first time, I can only agree with those people. Cynicism describes me spot on.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines cynical as “contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives” and as “based on or reflecting a belief that human conduct is motivated primarily by self-interest”
A modern cynic in advertently means according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary “a faultfinding captious critic”. With all of the definitions out of the way, it is time to decide if being a cynic is a good or bad thing. And please remember I am biased.
First things first, I would take being a cynic as a compliment rather than an insult because I can. Not only that but I have learnt over my lifetime that I shouldn’t take every remark as an insult otherwise, I will not have time for life.
Frankly, I don’t believe that I can be offended by something that I believe to be true. If you call me stupid, I would be offended and take that as an insult because I don’t believe that I am stupid, I have mediocre intelligence but that doesn’t mean I am stupid.
Before I dive into the pro and con arguments of if being a cynic is good or bad, I would first like to find out why I am the cynical person I am today. Just like everything, let’s start at the beginning. My childhood.
In all honesty, I don’t believe that you are born a cynic. You become more cynical over the passage of time. Whether it is something you have been taught or life experiences that made you cynical, something was the catalyst for cynicism. For me, it was probably a combination of both.
My parents taught me to not trust everyone I come across. A little lesson everyone had to sit through when they were younger called stranger danger. I might have taken that mild warning a bit too serious as a child. But I can´t say for sure since there could have been other contributing factors.
In early articles of mine (bullying & bullying (II) ), I have established the reasons as to why I have trust issues. Why I have a fear of betrayal and abandonment. Maybe the trust issue has spiralled into something else ergo cynicism.
This cynicism of mine could be the result of watching people making selfish decisions even though they claimed to make the “best” decision for society. From where I am standing, I believe that I am just watching the world set itself on fire and there is nothing I can do about it no matter how hard I try.
After watching society fall apart for so long even though many in power could have stopped it, that just makes you distrust smaller things and other people as well. You can say that I am just pessimistic about the prospect of people making the correct ethical choices.
There is always a conflict between what you want and what you should want for the greater good. Even if you would tell the world that you want what is best for the world, you might find yourself longing for what you self-indulgently want.
It is only a moment of weakness away from happening. A little desire to eat the forbidden fruit growing from the forbidden tree. Everything else would just come crumpling down since if you are willing to compromise on one thing, what stops you from compromising on another?
Let´s just leave it at, I have issues that I need to work through. Just because one person did something bad, it doesn’t mean that all humans are inherently bad. Cynicism just prevents crushed expectations.
As to why I don’t consider being cynical as something inherently bad. Being critical of everything is an important skill to possess in this fake news world. It is important to think critically about things that seem too good to be true.
However, the people who accused me of being cynical do have a point since the person I am is sometimes not an especially nice person or a decent human being. Being cynical has made me seem cold and indifferent sometimes when it was not the right response.
There was this one time when this one guy was just incredibly nice to me for no apparent reason whatsoever. I just did the most logical thing to me at that time and that was to panic for a second and then doubt him for the rest of the time.
With every smile he smiled in my direction, I wondered what his ulterior motives are. With every small act of kindness, I could not help to list all the reasons he might want to get to know me and trust me none of them are nice reasons. With every conversation we had, I was just being a bitch.
When we talked, I was always as vague as possible. My attitude was just cold and indifferent even though deep down I cared about what he had to say. The posture I took up was defensive which is just unpleasant to be around and that's coming from me so it must mean something.
Frankly, I like to know the people I am surrounding myself with for selfish and social reasons (two birds, one stone as many may say). Nevertheless, whenever he was around, I just could help myself but be cold towards a person who probably has no ill will.
Currently, I don’t know where I stand with that guy but I do hope that everything is fine because I am somewhat sick of ruining a perfectly good acquaintance just because I am scared to get hurt by the people around me again.
If I had ruined that acquaintance, I don’t blame him since being cynical of people who are incredibly nice to me for no apparent reason and no ulterior motive is just suspicious to me and I can´t help to go on the defence with those people.
Nevertheless, cynicism prevented others from taking advantage of me, which is always a big plus from my point of view. I just hate to be used by others to advance their selfish pursuits. Trust me, it has happened before, and I hated every second of it. I hated how naïve I was.
Everyone hates to be taken advantage of and used, I just wanted to make this self-hatred due to my naiveté stop. Cynicism was just a necessary defence mechanism that needed to develop so I don’t beat up myself for letting others use me again.
According to scientists, cynicism comes from a disconnect between expectation or hopes and reality, which leads to feelings of helplessness and can prompt one's sense that nothing they do in life truly matters. Let´s be frank, everyone feels that sometimes.
The only difference between cynics and everyone else is that everyone else decided not to let this negativity get them down. I can attest that I let negativity take over so many times that I stopped counting. And I am trying to make that stop.
I am not saying that cynicism is inherently good. Since cynicism is toxic, not only for me but also for the people around me. People are going to get hurt because of cynicism. However, one cannot argue that there is a fine line between good and bad when it comes to cynicism.
Modern cynicism to an extreme like in my case is toxic for me and everyone around me. However, mild modern cynicism can be somewhat helpful in this world filled with liars and backstabbers willing to do and say anything to get to the top of the food chain.
In this world, we need people who always see the best in people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But those are the people who would also be taken advantage of. The reason I am mentioning this is that I was one of those people who always believed that no one has a bad bone in their body.
Turns out, I am wrong. Now I am paying for my mistake and writing my redemption ark. All I am trying to say is that I have been hurt and it will hurt me too if I see others hurt because of trusting a little too much.
I know I can´t go back to the person I once was but I can try my best to see the positive but some part of me will always hold on to the cynical negativity whether I like it or not. It is just who I am. If you consider me a cynic, be my guest but at least know my story too.
I just hope the people who are hurt don’t turn to cynicism like me. I hope that they will still manage to shine bright in the darkest of times with the worst of people. Because now in these dark times with the worst of people, a beam of bright light is all we may need.