The meaning of Christmas
Photo by Kristina Paukshtite (Pexels)
It is January again which means that Christmas was right around the corner and is now gone. With the hanging lights and Christmas decorations all taken down (at least they should be taken down by this point) and the festive cheer past; it is time to reflect.
I know publishing a Christmas article at the end of January is a tad late, to say the least, but I was on a roll with my Venetian holiday recap and breaking the series short would be idiotic. Besides after a month, the rose-coloured glasses come off, just in time for some objective truth.
During the winter month of December, everyone is in a festive mood. The decorations are up and the weather is cold promising a white Christmas. Everywhere you go you can see the Christmas lights and the food guaranteeing a food coma. Everything looks so festive but why doesn’t it feel like it?
As a child, I used to love Christmas and the days following up to it. Now there seems to be a lack of this magical feeling which made Christmases special. Which is quite a shame and really depressing since I loved Christmas.
Even now, I am holding on to the hope that Christmas would be as magical and fantastic as it used to be however with each passing day leading up to Christmas the hope just slowly drips… drips… drips away.
Don’t get me wrong… Christmas is still a fun and festive time. There are still loads of presents to go around and a whole lot more Christmas cheer. The decorations get more joyful and brighter with each passing day, but something is missing and I can´t quite put my finger on it.
Each Christmas now just feels different than the Christmases in the past. The feeling of Christmas, the lights on the tree and the people spreading the Christmas cheer. Everything seems so different from the way it used to be.
Back in the joyful Christmas days, little me would get into Christmas spirit the moment the 1st of December comes around. Nevertheless, I never let social protocols stop me from getting ready for the next Christmas as soon as the last one ended.
Even in the school Christmas cheer was spread far and wide. Every teacher and student, young and old, was looking forward to the Christmas holidays in which one is free from educational stress and is free even for a mere two weeks.
There used to be cookie baking and lots of Christmas chocolate to go around. Everywhere you go you would be surrounded by the joy of Christmas. There was no evading the bright and cheerful holiday season back in the day.
Family and friends would come together and celebrate together, no matter how different the opinions may be. The winter snow was not even necessary for a good time during the cheerful December, as long as family and friends were around… that was all you needed.
On the 6th of December, a past version of me would wake up to a sock full of goodies, small and large. There were snacks and small useful tools. It was magical even though you knew it was your parents behind that magical gift.
The 6th of December was just a step along the way to the wonderful 24th. Nevertheless, before that must come every other day in between. However, no fear since every day between the 6th and 24th is filled with wonder and joy.
Every day in the December month was accompanied by chocolate every morning. Excitement courses through you as you wake up in the morning to find a tiny piece of chocolate hidden behind a hard-to-find door.
A week before the big day for the jolly man in the red suit, the Christmas tree comes up. The decorating of the tree was the most fun there was during that time even though it just took mere minutes to decorate but to the youth, it felt like ages.
When the star was finally placed on the tree top and the lights were turned on, you knew, Christmas eve was not too far now. Only a few days to the magical morning when you would wake up to many gifts underneath the beautifully decorated Christmas tree.
On the eve of Christmas, there would be a Christmas feast. A joyous dinner spent with your family. The place felt warm even though the outside was cold. The joy and happiness of the dinner could neither be captured in a picture nor put into words so I won´t even try but it was magical.
After a wonderful dinner, when you are too excited to go to sleep, you lay in bed with your eyes wide open. Waiting for the chubby old man to shimmy down your chimney, finish the cookies left out and leave some wonderful presents in return.
As a child, the worst worry would be that Santa would not visit since your house doesn’t have a chimney for him to enter or that you were not nice. Those were the only worries coursing through the young child´s mind before they fall asleep.
Tomorrow morning when you wake you would find piles of Christmas presents underneath the decorated tree with its lights shining bright. Gifts, large and small, wrapped with the most colourful wrapping paper are waiting underneath the tree just for you.
A child waking up on Christmas is the best feeling. The excitement coursing through you. Excited to see what Santa got you this year. If you finally got the gift you so long awaited and hoped for or something else you always wanted but never wished for.
Your parents gathered around to watch you open the gifts they carefully picked out and wrapped. Watching the excitement on your face when you finally get what you always wanted. The joy on their faces when they see your face light up.
The days following Christmas were not as magical as the ones before since there were no doors with hidden chocolate waiting for you in the morning but the Christmas spirit did not die. There are still traces of a wonderful time spread around the house.
The cookies are still there to be enjoyed. The Christmas chocolate is standing around as edible decorations. The tree still standing tall and bright in the living room. And most importantly the presents that would bring so much joy for years to come.
When it all has come to an end at the start of the new year, you pack the Christmas decorations in their boxes knowing that you will see them again in a year and the joy you felt this year will return the next.
Now that childhood has passed, Christmas just became less magical. The season is no longer enough to bring the family together even for one dinner on one evening. Whether it is work or conflicts or both, the season is no longer enough.
The excitement of waiting for school to end and the holidays to start also slowly died. After childhood, there is no clear separation between education/work and free time. It becomes morphed into one with each year making it harder to tell apart one from the other.
During the long-awaited holidays, all you can see in your future is the return to the institution bringing you down. It is somewhat also that you spend the well-deserved holidays studying for upcoming exams after the holidays.
With more knowledge in the back of your mind, the season itself is being drained of all its love and joy because you know Christmas is no longer Christmas anymore. It is an over-commercialised time of the year. There is no company which doesn´t exploit this festive time of year.
There is just a certain sadness embedded in this season. Knowing that Santa isn’t real. Knowing that childhood joy is lost to time. Knowing that the meaning of Christmas is lost to corporate greed. Knowing all that and so much more, make this time less than what it used to be.
Desperately, we try to recreate the fun times we had back in the day by trying to enjoy the Christmas activities we used to do. Desperately, trying to hold onto the magic we felt when we were young by pretending everything is gleaming and bright.
As somewhat grown adults we try to bake cookies like we used to but they never taste as good. We try to listen to the jolly Christmas songs but they never sound as good. We try to enjoy festive traditions but they just feel different when enjoyed alone.
For adults, Christmas is the most stressful time of the year. As children, we didn´t know it but now we do. You have to do Christmas shopping with stores overrun with people trying to achieve the same goal as you.
You have to plan everything that needs to be done. Think of a present, buy the present and pack the present with a smile on your face since it is Christmas nobody should be in a bad mood. You have to make sure your pantry is stocked and everything is ready for Christmas.
You have to decorate the house and send out the invites. You have to look forward to dinner with your family who you know will do nothing but argue at the dinner table. Things are just not like they used to be anymore.
There is no waking up to surprises anymore. There is only waking up knowing exactly what you will be getting. Nothing more, nothing less. No more excitement on Christmas day, only knowledge of what is to come.
Times changed and so did the season we grew up loving to somewhat resenting now. Christmas became the perfect blend of external joy and internal sadness. The season is still so cheery for you to await it with open arms yet you know it will never be like what it used to be ever again.
So… where to go from here? Knowing that things will change once you grew up is nothing new but it can be sad nonetheless. Everyone I have talked to in the past months shared similar excitement mixed with a whole ton of nostalgia and a pinch of sadness.
There is no use in turning back time because that is not going to happen any time soon. However, continuing with a sense of dread goes against what the season stands for. What can be done to save this season from nostalgic depression?
Well… I don’t know and I won´t pretend I do. There is no point in wasting anyone´s time.
What many people always told me was how to live in the moment while letting go of the past and forgetting the future. I always found this particular piece of advice arbitrary. If the present is not particularly spectacular or bearable, why does one have to live in it?
Christmas has evolved from being the most wonderful time of the year to one of the most stressful and or dreaded. How it came to be is quite obvious, we grew up and I have been told growing up is a normal thing to do.
However, just because you can´t turn back time to the happier Christmases before. That doesn’t mean that you can´t enjoy Christmas now. It will never live up to your expectations but that is fine too. Maybe tis the season to evolve expectations to be realistic.
That most certainly doesn’t mean that you can´t think back to the good old times. That just means that you shouldn’t use the good old times as a new standard for the new times you will create. That will only lead to disappointment.
Christmas is supposed to be a time of joy and cheer, maybe it is time to bring that back…
Quick Sidenote: While writing this article I noticed that in general every holiday with the family has become somewhat sad for me and the reason behind it has somewhat to do with the family drifting apart and I keep hanging on to the childhood memories believing it would go back to what it once used to be. This is just a quick note to myself saying maybe it is time to let go and move on instead of dwelling on the past.