Instruments - My musical journey

Photo by Mac DeStroir (Pexels)

Another thing many people don´t know about me is that I used to play instruments. No joke even though the stereotype of Asians playing either the piano or violin has become an overused joke. For the record, I play the piano.

My point is that I used to play many instruments in the past and today I want to reflect on this whole musical journey and figure out where this musical journey of mine would lead because giving up playing instruments is quite a shame.

When I was younger, I always admired people who could play instruments. The skill they possess to play such beautiful pieces with what seems like minimal effort. I wanted to possess that kind of skill too and that is how my musical journey started.

When I was roughly five years old, my mother signed me up for a xylophone class because I watched a marvellous performance by an excellent xylophonist. She managed to play an amazing piece with four percussion mallets. Two in each hand and as a child, that was awesome. To be fair, anyone who can play with four mallets instantly deserves respect because it is harder than it looks.

I wasn´t quite aware of it back then but my mother also had another agenda than just introducing me to the world of musical instruments. She wanted me to learn about music and how to read it from a young age… just like all Asian parents did.

Ever since those xylophone classes I had plenty of fun playing the xylophone because no matter what key you struck with the mallet a sound would come out and you alone can perform a symphony. It was a creative way to express oneself which was previously unknown.

After some time my parents also got me my own xylophone. That way I don’t have to wait a week to play again, I can just play at home. I can´t possibly express my excitement. My parents regretted that decision real quick.

I can remember how excited and happy I was when I received the xylophone. Sometimes I would go home and practice whatever we have played in class or I would just pretend to be a professional xylophonist and play with four mallets. My attempt at the four-mallet pieces was crummy at best.

Ever since the xylophone classes, a major weakness revealed itself when it came to music. I couldn’t read the notes or in other words, my reading was very slow, so my timing was off beat and that is just awkward when you are trying to keep up in class.

This is when I discovered another skill of mine which proves to be useful in the future. Just because I couldn’t read the sheet music doesn’t mean that I can´t play along because as it turns out I have decent note recognition and musical memory.

That just simply means that I can recognize the notes played on the xylophone and I can memorize pieces by playing them twice. Now looking back, I believe that skill was contra productive since I just stopped trying to read the sheet music altogether and focus on what I can hear.

Therefore, after one and a half decades, my sheet music reading ability still sucks and I did not take any steps in improving that inability of mine. If I can be honest, I became lazier when it comes to sheet music because instead of reading the note, I would write the note next to it.

So instead of a simple C major scale (for example, see above) I would write down do re mi etc… correspondingly. If I was incredibly lazy sometimes, I would just write the corresponding numbers. Only in Europe did I write C D E etc… (Nevertheless, my do re mi preference still persists).

From then I officially started school. In school, I had music classes. My previously already acquired musical knowledge proved to be of vital importance. It was a leg up in competition if I can say so myself. It was advantageous to already know a bit of music.

In school, we learnt how to play the recorder. Not the most interesting of instruments if I can say so myself and not a pleasant instrument either with its shrill notes. Nevertheless, we had plenty of fun in music class and learnt many more things.

The recorder phase was short-lived, and I moved on to a more challenging and pleasant instrument, namely the guitar. I really wanted to learn the guitar because it was an instrument you could take everywhere and more importantly was the gate to pop music.

Back then I didn’t realize just how many different types of guitars there were but beginning with the simple acoustic was a good choice. In the introduction to guitar course, I learnt how to tune a guitar and play the simplest of notes.

However, there were also some disadvantages. I was not good with learning in a group as proven by the xylophone class. Moreover, I was so small back then. In class we had standard chairs but whenever playing the guitar my feet couldn’t reach the ground which made playing unpleasant.

And can I mention just how much playing the guitar can hurt? The guitar string is made out of some sort of metal and pressing down on the metal for a longer period just hurts the fingers. Can I also point out how much the fingers just smelled of metal after playing the guitar?

Anyways, after playing the guitar for a few months the course ended for me because it no longer could fit into my schedule. To be fair, I was rather relieved because playing in the group made me anxious and the class was somewhat boring.

I know starting with the basics is necessary for a successful learning experience but the constant repetition of the basics just drove me into boredom which is why I am glad I stopped playing the guitar.

Next up was the instrument, I played for the longest time. The simple piano. An instrument you could find in every music classroom. The best instruments for beginners according to music teachers and probably also the most popular out of all the instruments.

I started at another music school. This time it was more one-on-one class which made me feel more comfortable. Learning at one's own pace is probably the best way to learn since the teacher gives you attention to make sure you understand.

Anyways, I learnt piano for five years. Four years in Asia and one year in England. When I started playing the piano, we didn’t have a piano at home. Nevertheless, my parents recognized the importance of practising at home and got me a keyboard.

It was not new since my parents learnt from their past mistakes and knew how long I could stick with one hobby. It was a second-hand one, which was still awesome. It was an electronic keyboard with so many different settings, it was an experimental paradise.

Nevertheless, my piano teacher pointed out how insufficient practising on a keyboard is since the keyboard key is so much lighter and whenever I would play on a real piano, I would have to readjust my playing technique which impacted the quality of the music.

Therefore, my parents looked for an alternative. At first, they wanted to buy an electronic piano since the keys were just as ´heavy` as a real piano. And the electronic piano has the same musical settings as the keyboard so I can continue to mess around with the settings.

However, one of my mother’s family friends wanted to throw out her piano but when she found out that I am playing the piano she instead gifted it to me. The piano was used (with barely visible indications of prior possession) but it was one of the best pianos I have ever played on.

Four years have passed since I started to play the piano. Each piece is more complex than the one before. I was learning more and more every lesson, but one thing was on the decrease, my practising at home.

I could feel how the piano became more of an obligation than an actual pleasure. Each lesson was met with annoyance and each lesson is passed with nuisance. The only time I truly felt joy was when the lesson ended.

Nevertheless, this was not the first time a hobby felt like an obligation so my parents more or less could see it coming while I knew how to deal with it. I didn´t stop playing the piano but I just didn´t practice as much as I used to.

Throughout the four years, I still struggled to read the chords and I have no idea why I couldn´t. If I take my time, I could figure out each note but in a hurry, while I am playing, I couldn’t read the next note and I have no idea why.

That is why I always pay so much attention when my piano teacher played because I was much better at memorizing than I was actually reading the sheet music right in front of me. This annoyed me at first but after four years you kind of just get used to it.

During the whole musical journey of mine, I also got a ukulele as a present, but I never got official education. It was somewhat similar to the guitar I played when I was younger, but it was smaller. I played the ukulele just for fun.

The ukulele came with a book filled with ukulele-friendly sheet music and through trial and error, I managed to play the ukulele to a bearable degree. It is far from good-sounding ukulele music but it was fun to practice and learn and at the end of the day that is all that matters.

While I was learning piano, I also wanted to learn something new and different. That is when I started to learn the flute. However, that phase was short-lived. I did want to learn the flute so I can be on the school orchestra but some things just don´t fit into the schedule.

My mother also learnt the flute when she was younger so I got her old flute. Even now I could still play the flute and clean it properly afterwards, but I could only play the basic chords and anything too fast would be impossible for me to play.

After the whirlwind of musical experience, I moved to England and that is where my musical journey slowly started to skid to a halt. I do remember taking a few piano lessons with my mom´s friend who was coincidentally also a piano teacher but that was it.

In England, I played the piano when I was feeling something. Playing the piano just cleared my mind from everything that surrounded me. It was somewhat meditative, but the piano was also a medium for fun and competition.

Even though I find the piano lessons awfully drab (no offence to my piano teachers), I find playing the piano fun. When I am playing I like to spice it up a bit. Play it faster than the sheet music recommends or play it upside down.

Once I successfully played Pachelbel canon on my back at an accelerated speed. It was fun, to put it mildly. However, after moving away from England that is when the musical fun stopped completely. For an unexplainable reason, I wouldn’t touch my piano.

In Germany, the piano just stood there collecting dust and being a waste of space. I couldn’t justify why I wouldn’t touch the piano but for a certain reason I just couldn't get myself to play and my skill suffered because of it.

When my mother´s friend´s son needed a piano, my mom decided to gift the piano to her friend´s son who is an excellent pianist. When the piano left its assigned space in the house, I just have an empty feeling within me.

However, the empty feeling was buried under a pile of schoolwork I needed to do. If I can be candid, I forgot I could play the piano because I no longer had a piano at my disposal and I no longer had to take mandatory music classes in school.

After graduation and moving to a new city, I had a roommate who had a keyboard in her room. She let me keep the keyboard in my room because she didn’t need it. During a difficult time, I just sat in front of a piano and forgot how to play.

Muscle memory fulfilled its purpose but it hurt me deeply that I could no longer play the piano properly. That is when I decided to revive my love for the piano and put some time and effort into practising piano pieces.

When I am feeling things, I would just turn to the keyboard and just play. Making me forget everything going on around me. Calming me down when I am stressed. I lose track of time every time I sit down in front of the keyboard.

Even though my lack of playing led to a significant decrease in my playing skills, I still like it very much. Even though I sometimes misplay because the keys are way too light, I wouldn’t give up the gift of playing.

So that is where my musical instrument journey is currently at. In the future, I would try to continue playing the piano whenever possible and hopefully improve my skills. I guess this article is like a note to future me, reminding her to play to forget the world for even a fragment of a moment.